Is a bully ‘bad?’


If you have read some of my earliest content on this blog, you know I believe a bully does not wake up one day and decide they want to be very bad people. I believe a bully has someone or someones in their lives that have treated them in a way that shapes them into being bullies. Because it can be, in some ways, considered ‘not their fault,’ it begs the question:

Are bullies bad people?

To answer a question this deep, we have to do a lot of thinking–People’s own morals and values usually weigh in on their answers to this question.

A bully takes deliberate action to harass and harm the people around them. This is clear evidence to the opinion that they are ‘bad people.’ On the contrary, they take these actions because they are insecure about themselves, and have been shown that stripping someone else’s confidence is the way to be above others. This can be used to support the side that they are not ‘bad people,’ simply victims of ‘bad circumstance.’

Or do you believe ‘good’ and ‘bad’ are too thin terms?(Please, tell me if you believe that, and why!)

A bully can be looked at from many different perspectives; but I don’t think any of them will ever be classified as ‘right.’

Thanks for reading.

-Kyletheantibully

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Cyber-Bullying versus Bullying


What a controversial, back-and-forth topic. Cyber-bullying…There are thousands of different opinions and views on them…Some including ‘It’s worse than bullying,’ ‘They’re on the same level,’ ‘What is cyber-bullying,’ and ‘Cyber-bullying is a myth.’ (The final of which stuns me.)

 

If your answer would be the fourth, let me give you the dictionary definition, and my definition.

 

Dictionary Definition: the electronic posting of mean-spirited messages about a person (as a student) often done anonymously- http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/cyber-bullying

My Definition: Bullying given to others through the use of technological devices,(such as phones, social media, and chatrooms.) often in a higher level of vulgarity or violence than normal bullying.

The difference between Cyber-bullying and Bullying is that it’s behind a screen; when someone is not looking another person in the face, they have a lot more confidence that no action will be taken against them, and thus, they feel the need to say whatever they wish, and this can really affect people. A huge difference is that so many creative things can be done with Cyber-bullying. Multiple facebook pages can be made hating on someone, they can spam someone’s youtube, twitter, etc.(I don’t use most social medias, so I don’t know the names) to hurt another, and people can create entire websites just to spite one person.

 

Cyber-bullying is home to many suicides.

 

…His(Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd) client and the other girlĀ  were arrested in October, more than a month after Rebecca Sedwick jumped to her death from a cement plant tower after enduring what police described as months of verbal, physical and online bullying…

 

…Two students from separate schools committed suicide within days of each other this month — which is National Bullying Prevention Month(October) — and both boys apparently had been bullied. Now, parents are asking questions not just about bullying but also about anti-bullying videos, which both schools aired shortly before the incidents…

 

Cyber-bullying has been ignored by a lot as just another form that needs to be dealt with like Bullying- This isn’t true! A conversation, an apology, mediation, whatever- It is gone from a bullies minds after they’re home behind a computer screen, especially if they’re with their friends. This is an ineffective way to deal with it–It needs harsher, less leeway-ish punishments that get the message across- NO.

 

When you see or hear about cyber-bullying, do something. Don’t let it sit, and don’t let someone be pushed around and stepped on without the problem actually being stopped.

 

My message is the same as always–Don’t let it sit.

 

Don’t stand by— Step up.

 

-Kyle

Bullying- Social vs. Academic


I remember one way I used to deal with bullies was to use logic. If I send a ton of complicated, big-worded, politically correct statements, it overflows their brain, and they can’t bully as well.

 

Right?

 

Well, one thing I discovered was that when I flood them with logic, they only become more riled up; they start thinking I’m trying to sound smarter than them, and it feeds their want to take away my level of intelligence. That is why I stopped using Academic logic to stop bullying.

 

A social bullying skill is something like diffusing the situation by stepping back and walking away or telling a friend you don’t appreciate a joke in a friendly way.(Captain Kirk) An academic bullying skill is something like diffusing the situation by referencing problems and new ideas from classes and knowledge you have obtained or telling a friend you don’t appreciate a joke by trying to deconstruct the joke with logical statements and literal thinking.(Mr. Spock)

Let’s give an example of both.

 

Todd: Hey! Don’t shove me like that, you dumb loser! Watch where you’re going!

Aron: Dude, I didn’t shove you. I wouldn’t do that to someone I don’t know.

Todd: Yeah, right! You shoved right into me! I’m sure both of my friends saw it! Right?

Ben: Yeah, he shoved you.

Justin: Yeah, I saw it.

Aron: Look, sorry if you think I shoved you, but I didn’t. I hope you can still have a nice day.(Walks away.)

 

In this scenario, Aron, the believed antagonist of the situation, tries to diffuse the scenario by taking a peaceful approach and choosing peaceful words that don’t blame himself, but don’t put the blame on anyone else. He ends by walking away, giving Todd time to reflect on the situation to try and see the story again from his eyes.

Let’s take a look at a logic based example.

 

Todd: Hey! Don’t shove me like that, you dumb loser! Watch where you’re going!

Aron: Dude, I didn’t shove you. I was too far away.

Todd: Yeah, right! You shoved right into me! I’m sure both of my friends saw it! Right?

Ben: Yeah, he shoved you.

Justin: Yeah, I saw it.

Aron: Look, I didn’t shove you. I was on the other side of the hallway. There’s just no way I was the one who shoved you!

Todd: Yeah, you did! You better say you’re sorry, or I am going to tell the security card you’re trying to bully me!

Aron: I didn’t shove you! I was on the other side of the hall! There’s no way it was me!

Todd: (Storms off with Ben and Justin, reporting Aron.)

In this scenario, Aron has tried to shove the blame onto someone else by stating he was not close enough to shove Todd. There is no way to prove this without getting some witness or video tape(which wouldn’t be used for such a situation) and leaves the blame unaccounted for. This is an example of a bad way to handle a situation.

 

Social and Academic bullying skills are to be used differently— A good time for Academic bullying skills is while competing against another team or student, and state(whether you win or lose) that it is a simple game to improve your Academic skills.

 

-Kyletheantibully

Family Bullying


Have you ever sat around at home, talking with your parents about something serious, and suddenly one of them says something very mean?

 

This is not a very specific thought; it can mean a lot. A parent tells you to leave, a parent tells you just to ‘deal with it,’ a parent tells you ‘too bad…’ Almost everyone has been there. Family bullying is worse than school/work bullying; it is often the cause of a bully being formed in the very first place.

A common form of Family Bullying is when a child is seeking help from an older brother, sister, parent, or older adult. The child is in desperate need of this help, but the response might be to ‘toughen up’ or to ‘deal with it.’ Shockingly(to me, at the least) this is most common among the parents and adults. This shocks me, as they are the most influential source of character for a child.

 

A brother or sister usually is more prone to such a response; a response such as ‘Go throw your problems in someone else’s face,’ or ‘Is that my problem?’

This bullying is such a serious issue because the people we rely on the most are throwing away our problems like nothing. This is a common cause of depression, which is the most common disease among teenagers in all of America. A good way to prevent this is, if you are an adult, a brother, a sister, an uncle, an aunt, a mother, a father, or any other figure in a child’s life, is to offer as much support as you can without solving someone’s problems for them; guide them on their path to self-confidence and assurance in their own ability. If you are a child or teenager, the best thing for you is to let go of the belief that everything that is thrown at your feet has to be dealt with using your own feet; there are others out there who will help you get through the hardest of situations. A consular, a parent, a friend, a teacher…You aren’t alone. Anyone can help; I can help; Just don’t believe you are alone.

 

Don’t stand by- Step Up.

 

-Kyletheantibully

Bullying and Music


I’ve many times heard a friend or acquaintance of mine venting about a bullying experience. I do my best to help, or at least comfort them. Many times, the next day or so, I will ask this friend/acquaintance what they did when they got home that day. I often here ‘I went home and listened to music/my mp3/ my iPod.’ I immediately follow this up with ‘How loud was the music?’ And, every single time I have heard something along the lines of “Loud/Sorta loud, i dunno/Really loud.” This is not a good thing.

 

When we get home and are angry about an experience in the day, and listen to extraneously loud music,(whether it’s about a violent theme or not) it often feeds into and focuses on that anger, and therefore does not allow the human a change to think out his emotions and solve he situation in his mind(or seek help)

 

Many fall back on music to calm them from a long day of hardship or difficulty. When we listen to this loud, sometimes violent music, and our focus is placed on our anger, it is actually unhealthy for us–this unthinking state that prevents our minds from being able to gather our thoughts and emotions, and, if we are in this state for too long, can carry over to the next day, causing a worse day after the initial anger and situations–this leads to being an easier target of bullying and harrassment. So…

 

Let’s take a step back. That’s a lot of effect just by listening to some music. Moral of the story, watch what you do to handle your anger–it is not bad to be angry; It is bad to feed your anger and strengthen it for a worse cause.

Bullying? Try some new things.


Recently, I signed up for a program that introduces high school students to multiple areas of college work. It is not at all hard work, simple areas of work with most easy and some challenging activities that you are guided through. The program is very interesting to me, and I really enjoy it.

 

One thing I’ve noticed is how nice about 95% of the students are. I’ve had one single incident of bullying the whole time, and I easily shrugged the kid off with “that is your opinion,” to which his words turned into mumbles and stumbling sentences. This brought to my mind something I hadn’t realized before, of which I want to share with everyone who takes time out of their day to read my blog.

 

Taking this class that goes along with the program has opened my eyes to something after seeing how polite and friendly most of the other people in the class are. I decided I would try something new that I enjoyed(Introduction to 2D Computer Programming : D) and I have since made two or three good acquaintances. While these acquaintances may not turn into friendships or friendly bonds, the fact that I’ve met such good people in three days of this program has shocked me to a quite high level.

 

My advice to you the reader, if you feel you are in a place with few friends and little to do, or even just a little free time, to try something new. Go join a community center that practices art. Go learn to play guitar. Drums. just go do something new that will introduce you to a new area of study, enjoyment, fun, entertainment, or even just occupation.

 

Learning about the programming has given me three benefits- Getting out of the house, making several new acquaintances, and learning how to program simple 2D games. I am enjoying doing something new, and I am positive you will too.

Response to Daily Prompt: You’ve got the Power


You have the power to enact a single law. What would it be?

 

The single law I would enact is a law that would give a punishment for bullying that would discourage the picking on and putting-down of other human beings. This would allow a greater growth and happiness in our growing society.

 

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/06/12/daily-prompt-law/

Response to Daily Prompt: Take Care


When you’re unwell, do you allow others to take care of you, or do you prefer to soldier on alone? What does it take for you to ask for help?

 

I try to find a middle ground. I do not relish in laziness and allow other people to take care of me completely, but I also do not do everything myself and try to tough the sickness out. To ask for help, I have to know what the problem is and if I cannot handle the problem myself.

 

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/06/11/daily-prompt-take-care/

Physical Eduction and Bullies


A bully values their own self-confidence. They are willing to do many things to get this self-confidence. Physical Education classes give this chance in a few different ways.

I’ve wrote a post like this before. But this is different.

 

A student who has the chance to outmatch someone in a physical activity will. If you are playing a running game, such as flag football, a bully will go for you every single play that he can.

If you are playing a balance game, a bully will do everything on the sidelines to make you trip, fall, etc.

If you are playing…well, you get the picture. A bully enjoys the opportunity to make a student look bad or dumb in a way that brings an angry reaction out of you. How do I know this?

 

I was never the fit/athletic kid. When I was a few years younger, I didn’t like sports, I usually didn’t want to play them(With some exceptions :3), and didn’t hone my skills all that much with almost all of the sports I was forced to play.(except a few)

 

Because of this, I was easy to beat and jab and pick on while playing sports. I almost always couldn’t hold a reaction in. When you’re right on the spot, determined, and then fall, fail, and get laughed at, it is unbelievably harder then holding in a response to verbal bullying.

 

 

What to do if this happens–get away. Don’t even look at the kid who just beat you. Go to your teacher and say you need time to yourself. Five minutes. But get out of that situation. When you’re calm, and have had time to process what happened, and process how to respond and deal with the situation, everything will go much smoother.