Too little effort, Too much effort, and Bullies…


What is putting in too little effort into a project or an activity?

What is putting in too much effort into a project or an activity?

What is being bullied for doing either of these?

 

Putting in too little effort into a project or activity is either the inability to because of a temporary or permanent disability, or,(more likely) the dislike or not wanting to do an activity.

 

Putting in too much effort into a project or activity is either the lust to beat someone or the want to make sure you can get a good grade/noticed from a teacher or observer.

 

A bully will exploit both of these as they see fit. If a person is not putting in enough effort, a bully will take every chance they can get to make fun of a person not putting in enough effort.

“Hey, (insert name here), why aren’t your doing (insert project/activity here)?”

“Wow, you can’t even shoot a basketball! You’re such a wimp.”

“You’ll never be able to throw a football as good as me!”

“(Insert teacher’s name here), (insert name here) isn’t doing the work he should be doing!

 

“Hey, (insert name here), stop being so serious and mean! This game is about having fun!”

“(Insert teacher’s name here), (insert name here) is doing way more working and leaving me with nothing!”

“You’re trying waaay too hard!”

 

Keep in mind that a bully’s goal as a bully is to make themselves feel better about themselves. They will take any chance to make someone look less smart, weaker, or smaller than them to achieve this feeling of betterness.

 

I’ve been asked a few times, both in real life, and on the internet, on and off of WordPress, how to stop this type of bullying. I’ll hear things like “It’s just too hard,” “I can’t figure it out,” “I don’t have enough time to learn it, my teacher moves too fast,” and I always respond the same way; It’s always essential to keep practicing something to get better at it. If you’re not good at basketball, pick up a basketball at a store for twelve dollars and go shoot some hoops at your nearest community or school, after hours of teaching.

 

However, I am not trying to say to get better at everything just so a bully will not be able to pick on your about it———Sometimes, we find something plain boring or unimportant, and whether it is important or not, you know if you’ll set it down or not once you are finished with that unit/requirement. It is still important to remain optimistic and open to these new experiences.

Ask yourself this: Do I want to get better at this? Is it something I don’t want to do, but am being forced to? Do I feel like I’ll not do this much more?

After answering that question, you should be able to make a decision about whether you really want to get better at the activity. A bully shouldn’t be taken into any account when you’re making a decision about your life.

Don’t let a bully be a factor in what you do and do not want to do. Your life is your own life, and you are allowed to lead it the way your want to. At the same time, make sure you are open and willing to get better at something for the sake of your own betterment.

Why does bullying happen?


Put in the simplest words, people bully to make themselves feel better.

For almost every bully, they are bullied. It doesn’t matter who it is, but it does matter where; It is usually where they live.

Almost all bullies have a situation at home where they may be hurt, just like they hurt others. They may be harassed just like they harass. They may be put down like they put down. It’s Cause & Effect. When they are bullied at home, their feeling of positive about themselves is taken away. And, when they bully someone, that person usually feels the same way. The bully has their positive feeling taken away, so they need to take it from someone else.

Which is the person they bully. They bully others because they are bullied. So, as much as they may seem like really bad people to the one being bullied, imagine going home every single day and being criticized, verbally hurt, maybe even physically hurt, and mostly unsupervised. With no one seeming to care about them, and being left with this negative feeling, they bully to give it to someone else.

In other words: A bully will try to take someone’s positive feeling, and give them their negative feeling.

When I say negative and positive, I mean self-confidence. A positive self-confidence means you feel good about yourself, you don’t let other people’s bad opinions change your self-view dramatically, and you are you. A negative self-confidence means you feel bad about yourself, other people’s opinions change your view of yourself, and you feel like you can’t be the person you can or want to be.

Just because these bullies most likely have it hard, it does Not mean bullying is okay. It is okay to feel a little sorry for someone, but it does not excuse the bullying.

Put all of this information together: People bully to make themselves feel good.

If you feel the need, please post a comment about a story you’d like posted, an idea about bullying prevention, or even advice to other people who read my blog.