This picture really makes me think a lot of myself in elementary school. I remember the rumors about me, the gossip that went around. A lot of the speak in the room stopped when I would enter, and if I was walking by a certain group, they would stop talking. The rumors, the gossip, the insults, it all hurt. I did not know how to deal with it, and I was confused.
Some people told me not to let it get to me. That did not help at all. In fact, that is probably one of the worst things an adult could tell you. Saying, “Don’t let it get to you,” is, to me, like saying “I don’t have time to deal with it. You figure it out.” Saying “Don’t let it get to you,” helps in no way at all, as far as I’m concerned.
I also heard a lot of “You need to toughen up, and show them who they are messing with.” In my opinion, this meant one simple thing: Raise your fists and attack them. That, to me, was absolutely not going to happen. You may hear a lot of sayings, such as, “Violence is never the answer,” but I don’t think any saying can actually give a full, 100% meaning to Bullying. If I had raised my fists and starting hitting anyone who bullied me, I would just be giving them the rise, or reaction that they wanted.
A Bully bullies to take someone else’s positive feel about themselves, and pass off their negative feel. If I had started punching, it would have said to them, “He is angry. He doesn’t know what else to do but get violent.” This, in turn, would most likely lead to me being reported to a teacher or administrator, and me getting in trouble. Because I never raised my fists to a bully, I was able to, ever so slowly, learn how to deal with a bully, along with drawing my own conclusions on why someone bullies.
Back to this picture- It makes me think a lot of the time I spent down in the dumps, upset, unsure, unaware, and unable.
I was upset because I did not know how to react. ‘These kids were going out of their way to be mean to me, and they won’t stop!’
I was unsure because I did not know if I could really be myself and get along with others and succeed in life.
I was unaware because I was not paying any attention to the help I now know I really did have.
I was unable because after every insult, it felt like I could do less and less to stop the insulting, and the hurting, and the gossip, and the rumors.
Upset, Unsure, Unaware, Unable. I have come to think of these as “The four U’s that show insecurity.”